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Time after Pentecost · Green Friday, September 4 · Year A
Home/Care/At the time of death

You may be reading this in a hospital room, or at home, and you may be the only one there right now. You can pray these prayers. Read them aloud if you can, quietly if you cannot, silently if that is all there is. Hearing is often the last sense to go, so speak to the person as though they can hear you. They very likely can.

At the time of death

For a bedside · any Christian may pray these

If there is very little time

Pray only this. It is enough. It has always been enough.

Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant [name].
Acknowledge, we humbly ask you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming.
Receive [name] into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light.Amen.

The traditional commendation of the dying, in use in the Western church for centuries.

Laying on of hands

Put your hand on their head or hold their hand. Touch matters more than words here.

[name], child of God, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit and marked with the cross of Christ forever.
Go in peace.

Psalm 23

Most dying people have known these words their whole life. Say them slowly.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Psalm 23. King James Version. Public domain.

The Song of Simeon

The church’s prayer for a good death, and for the end of every day.

Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace,
according to thy word.
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,
which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;
to be a light to lighten the Gentiles,
and to be the glory of thy people Israel.

Luke 2:29–32. King James Version. Public domain.

The Lord’s Prayer

Say it even if you are the only one saying it.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory,
forever and ever. Amen.

Contemporary

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours,
now and forever. Amen.

Matthew 6:9–13. Historic text of the Western church. English Language Liturgical Consultation.

Both forms are in current use. Pray whichever one you learned.

Blessing

May God the Father, who created you, and God the Son, who redeemed you, and God the Holy Spirit, who sanctifies you, keep you and bring you to everlasting life.Amen.

For yourself, when it is over

You have just done something hard. This one is for you.

God of all comfort, I have done what I could and I do not know if it was enough.
Hold what I could not hold. Carry what I cannot carry.
Let me be tired now, and not ashamed of it.Amen.

What happens next: the first hours

Nobody tells you this part in advance, and decisions start arriving fast. You do not have to make any of them tonight except the first one.

  1. There is no hurry. If the death was expected and at home, you may sit with them. Hours, if you want. Nothing is being delayed by your grief.
  2. Someone must be notified. In a hospital or care facility, the staff handle it. At home, call the hospice line if there is one, otherwise the non-emergency number for your local authorities. They will tell you what happens next.
  3. Call one person for yourself. Not to arrange anything. Just so you are not alone in the house.
  4. Call a pastor when you are ready. Tonight or tomorrow. If there is no congregation, any Lutheran church near you will help arrange a funeral for someone who was not a member. This is normal and you should not apologize for asking.
  5. Funeral decisions can wait until morning. Every single one of them. Do not let anyone rush you into choosing anything at midnight.
  6. Eat something and drink water. This is genuinely pastoral advice and it is the one people ignore.
From the library

Luther wrote for this hour too. A Sermon on Preparing to Die (1519), The Fourteen of Consolation (1520), and four more — read what the church has said at bedsides for five hundred years. →
Prayers for a grieving household