On anger and reconciliation
Deal with anger early
Contempt is where violence starts. Make it right quickly.
Key points
- What it means: Everyone agrees murder is wrong. Jesus traces it back to its roots: anger nursed over time, and contempt, calling someone worthless.
- Try this: Is there someone who is upset with you? Reach out first this week, even with one message.
- The good news: God didn’t wait for you to make things right. In Jesus, he came to be reconciled with you first.
What he said
“First be reconciled to your brother”
Matthew 5:24
Find it: Matthew 5:21–26
Read Matthew 5:21–26
21 “You have heard that it was said to the ancient ones, ‘You shall not murder;’ and ‘Whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that everyone who is angry with his brother without a cause will be in danger of the judgment. Whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ will be in danger of the council. Whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of Gehenna. 23 “If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are with him on the way; lest perhaps the prosecutor deliver you to the judge, and the judge deliver you to the officer, and you be cast into prison. 26 Most certainly I tell you, you shall by no means get out of there, until you have paid the last penny.
World English Bible, public domain. The whole chapter on Free Scripture → · Read in the NRSVue, the ELCA’s standard translation →
What it means
Everyone agrees murder is wrong. Jesus traces it back to its roots: anger nursed over time, and contempt, calling someone worthless.
Then he says something surprising. If you’re on your way to worship and remember someone is upset with you, stop. Go and make it right first. And settle disputes quickly, before they grow.
At work
- Address conflict within a day if you can. Resentment left alone becomes culture.
- Eye-rolls, sarcasm and talking behind someone’s back are small contempt. They spread.
With people
- If someone is upset with you, go first. You don’t have to be the one who was wrong to be the one who reaches out.
The hard part
Some people aren’t safe to approach. Make peace where you can; you are not required to put yourself in harm’s way.
Try this
Is there someone who is upset with you? Reach out first this week, even with one message.
Go deeper
The good news
God didn’t wait for you to make things right. In Jesus, he came to be reconciled with you first.
Nobody lives this perfectly. How to read it