Turn the other cheek; go the extra mile
Break the cycle
Don’t hit back, and don’t be a doormat. Find a third way.
Key points
- What it means: “An eye for an eye” was a limit on revenge: no more than what was done to you.
- Try this: Next time someone is rude to you this week, don’t return it. Respond to the issue, calmly, or not at all.
- The good news: On the cross, Jesus took violence without returning it, and broke the cycle for good.
What he said
“Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.”
Matthew 5:41
Find it: Matthew 5:38–42
Read Matthew 5:38–42
38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, don’t resist him who is evil; but whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 If anyone sues you to take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. 41 Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and don’t turn away him who desires to borrow from you.
World English Bible, public domain. The whole chapter on Free Scripture → · Read in the NRSVue, the ELCA’s standard translation →
What it means
“An eye for an eye” was a limit on revenge: no more than what was done to you. Jesus goes further: don’t hit back at all.
Many scholars note the details. A blow to the right cheek was usually a backhanded insult. Turning the other cheek refused the humiliation without striking back. A Roman soldier could force a local to carry his gear one mile; going a second mile turned forced labor into a free choice. It is where we get “going the extra mile.”
This is not passivity. It is refusing to let someone else decide who you become.
At work
- Don’t escalate the email war. Answer the issue, not the tone.
- Exceed what’s required, by choice. It changes the relationship.
With people
- Online pile-ons run on hitting back. Someone has to stop first.
The hard part
This is never a command to stay in abuse. When Jesus himself was struck, he challenged it: “Why do you beat me?” Turning the other cheek is dignity, not permission to be harmed. Luther drew a line here too: this is about personal revenge. Protecting other people, and seeking justice through fair laws and courts, is a different thing, and can itself be an act of love.
Try this
Next time someone is rude to you this week, don’t return it. Respond to the issue, calmly, or not at all.
Go deeper
The good news
On the cross, Jesus took violence without returning it, and broke the cycle for good.
Nobody lives this perfectly. How to read it