What Jesus said about
Love and marriage
Just as I have loved you, you also love one another.
John 13:34
The short answer
Jesus’ first sign in John’s Gospel was at a wedding, keeping the celebration going. He took marriage seriously as something God joins together.
The measure he gave for love was his own: love one another the way he loved his friends, which meant serving them and giving himself for them.
In the Gospels
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John 2:1–11
The wedding at Cana
The wine runs out at a village wedding. Jesus quietly turns water into wine, so the couple and their guests are not shamed.
Read John 2:1–11
1 The third day, there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there. 2 Jesus also was invited, with his disciples, to the wedding. 3 When the wine ran out, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no wine.” 4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that have to do with you and me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever he says to you, do it.” 6 Now there were six water pots of stone set there after the Jews’ way of purifying, containing two or three metretes apiece. 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the water pots with water.” So they filled them up to the brim. 8 He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the ruler of the feast.” So they took it. 9 When the ruler of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and didn’t know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the ruler of the feast called the bridegroom 10 and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when the guests have drunk freely, then that which is worse. You have kept the good wine until now!” 11 This beginning of his signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.
World English Bible, public domain. The whole chapter on Free Scripture → · Read in the NRSVue, the ELCA’s standard translation →
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Mark 10:6–9
What God joins together
Asked about divorce, Jesus goes back to creation: the two become one flesh.
Read Mark 10:6–9
6 But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. 7 For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will join to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
World English Bible, public domain. The whole chapter on Free Scripture → · Read in the NRSVue, the ELCA’s standard translation →
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John 13:34–35
A new commandment
After washing his disciples’ feet, Jesus tells them to love one another as he has loved them.
Read John 13:34–35
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
World English Bible, public domain. The whole chapter on Free Scripture → · Read in the NRSVue, the ELCA’s standard translation →
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet, scene by scene on Free Scripture
How Lutherans read this
Lutherans see marriage as a good gift of God for all people, and a place where two imperfect people practise forgiveness daily. The ELCA blesses and performs same-sex marriages as a gift of God — the churchwide assembly voted to allow this in 2009, and the ELCA’s full teaching is that same-sex couples are welcome at the altar. The ELCA also teaches that a marriage that has broken is not beyond God’s care, and that divorced people are fully welcome at the table.
A question to take with you
Where do you see love that looks like serving, not only feeling?
Further reading from the Lutheran tradition: 1 work in the library.